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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?